Tex Hooper’s British Cousin, Fulham FC Billy Badger

I wonder if Billy Badger is, like most of Fulham, actually American. This is wacky and sad — and a joke — but I (for one) was glad to see that FCD’s not the only team with a crazy, somewhat inappropriate, mascot.

Over-under on the number of times Tex Hooper does his (her, its?) patented “bend-over-and-smack-that-rump” stripper mascot move during the home opener? Opening line’s set at 8.

(Err… It’s actually Commerce City, but who’s counting?)

The Washington Post’s usually reliable Steven Goff is reporting speculating that Big Bob may be headed elsewhere.   Like  Colorado.

But the process has dragged on and Mina, who played for Dallas last night, apparently wants to go elsewhere. The buzz is that two clubs overseas, as well as two MLS teams, are interested in his services, though his preference is to remain in America. (My hunch is that Colorado, which just today traded forward Nicolas Hernandez to Columbus, is one of the suitors and would love to have Mina as a target for recently acquired Christian Gomez.)

I don’t want to become MLSRumors, but I can’t help but think that we’re about to see some major personnel moves.  If Navia is to become a Hoop, Dallas will have to move someone to clear a Senior International spot.  Speculation (at least on  3rdDegree) is that this is likely to be Dom Oduro.  More after the jump… Read the rest of this entry »

Bob Malcolm’s going to play the rest of the season at SPL side Motherwell.  Whew!  Where they chant things like this to bug Celtic bhoys:

 Celtic boys club Celtic boys club they shagged all the boys
They shagged all the boys they shagged all the boys
Celtic boys club Celtic boys club they shagged all the boys

and against Hearts Jambos:

Oh the ‘Well fans don’t carry razors
Oh the ‘Well fans don’t carry chains
Oh the ‘Well fans we just carry shot guns
To blast out the jam tart brains

and this against Aberdeen dons:

(Oh, my bad.  They don’t even bother with Aberdeen…)

Unless you’re an avid follower of the SPL (Scottish Premier League), you’re probably wondering “Who the heck is Gretna?”. You’re not alone. I am Scottish and I still wonder the same thing.

 Gretna is a small town nearly the Scotland / England border. Closeby is a small village known as Gretna Green. This little village gained fame and notoriety as the Scottish equivalent of the Las Vegas little chapel of love. Although the laws have since changed, many years ago English and Scottish law differed greatily on marriage. In Scotland a boy of 14 could marry a girl of 12 without parental consent (that has changed now). In England not only did you have to be 21yrs to marry without parental consent, but you actually had to publicly announce your intent to marry (allowing others to contest it). Gretna, being right on the border, naturally became the first choice place for English lovers to elope.  To this day many marriages are still performed in Gretna green, infact marriage is Gretna’s main industry.

Gretna Football Club has a pretty amazing story. This little club rose from complete obscurity to entry into the Scottish Footbal League in 2002 (Division 3). Last year, they were promoted to the Scottish Premier League (unfortunately it looks like they will be going down at the end of the year). Their stadium has the mind boggling capacity of about 6,000. What’s mind boggling is that the population of Gretna is about 2,000.. so basically when they play the whole town comes out to watch and there’s still plenty of seats left.

 Their star player Kenny Deuchar recently signed up with Real Salt Lake.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/teams/g/gretna/7266475.stm

Despite Gretna’s and Kenny’s relative obscurity, Kenny is actually the only player (other than Jimmy Greaves) to have scored six hatricks in one season in the UK football leagues. 

http://sport.scotsman.com/peterheadfc/Deuchar-equals-Greaves-as-Gretna.2612064.jp 

Not too shabby!

Good luck Kenny. You’re going to need it. Unfortunately for you, your team is pure gash!