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Top 11 Things that could make this week worse for FC Dallas

July 24th, 2008 by stevetoro | Posted in Uncategorized |

With rumors abounding that KC Jr. is cashing in some of John Ellinger’s frequent-flyer miles to fly off to Rosenborg, we present:  the top 11 things that could make this week worse for FCD.

From the home office in Frisco, Texas:

1. Clark Hunt decides that he’s ready to return to play for his old coach.

2.  Tex Hooper signs a generationAdidas contract.

3.  Schellas is put in charge of PHP promotions and declares Sunday’s game against the Galaxy to be “Free Kick in the Groin“ night.

4.  The Front Office decides to schedule a  Frisco ISD high school football game during an upcoming FCD game.

5.  Gretna approaches FCD about becoming the Hoops’ latest partner.

6.  Last season’s Toja wigs are discovered to carry smallpox.

7.  George W. Bush is named as FCD Technical Director.  Hitch lauds him saying, that GWB will “do for FCD what he did for the Texas Rangers”.

8.  Marcelo Saragosa:  striker.

9. FC Dallas is forced to trade Adrian Serioux to Toronto because he can no longer live without Tim Bits and poutine.

10.  A comet hits Frisco, obliterating all human life. Del’s survives, however.

…and the #11 way things could be worse is:

11.  Los Toros get transferred to Romania.

  1. 15 Responses to “Top 11 Things that could make this week worse for FC Dallas”

  2. By christian O'Rourke on Jul 24, 2008

    brilliant

    my favorite is number eight

  3. By Margo on Jul 24, 2008

    Hahaha. Seriously. Who’s going to play on Sunday?

  4. By XoZe on Jul 24, 2008

    I’ll play for a while….

  5. By Matt on Jul 24, 2008

    The way we’re headed, we just might be the next Gretna…

  6. By Team mongoose on Jul 24, 2008

    smallpox = comedy

  7. By Nathan on Jul 25, 2008

    LOL. Can I be goalie?

  8. By SteveToro on Jul 25, 2008

    Nate, you’re our man.

    Here’s the lineup:

    Ray Burse (*junior!*), GK
    SteveToro, Davino, Moor, XoZe, FB
    KirkBhoy, Serioux, Rocha, Avila, MF
    Nathan, Tex Hooper, F

    Hooper’s going to be a beast. With those horns, and those stripper moves, who’s going to stand in his way?

  9. By Rex Kramer on Jul 25, 2008

    “3. Schellas is put in charge of PHP promotions and declares Sunday’s game against the Galaxy to be “Free Kick in the Groin“ night.”

    Isn’t this every FCD home game?

  10. By Chazsoccer on Jul 25, 2008

    Can we have Pareja and Ferruzzi suit up? They have MLS experience!

  11. By futbolchick on Jul 25, 2008

    Now I am feeling left out. I have two brand new hips ya know. Come on!

  12. By SteveToro on Jul 25, 2008

    Oh, I’ve got a #12, now.

    #12. We have to endure another week of “will-he, won’t he” speculation.

  13. By Nathan on Jul 25, 2008

    Futbolchick - you are still rehabbing on the side with the physio.. we can’t play you on Sunday unfortunately.

  14. By Team Mongoose on Jul 25, 2008

    What about Attila? I feel they he would work very well as a central denfense mid.

  15. By Anon on Jul 25, 2008

    Maybe we can pick up Vlad the Impaler in exchange for Juan if Steau isn’t willing to pay our price!

  16. By SteveToro on Jul 26, 2008

    Yeah, I can see the injury reports now. “Ricardo Clark (questionable) - Impaling”

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