Friday, March 12, 2010

Archive for October, 2008

FIFA 2009

Posted by NathanRex On October - 21 - 2008

Yes, I couldn’t resist handing over $60 for the latest FIFA installment.

A quick look at the Dallas line up and their assigned FIFA 2009 rating.

Sala - 65
Serioux - 63
Moor - 65
Davino - 69
Wagner - 58
Rocha - 65
McCarty - 65
Ricchetti - 67
Sikora - 69
Cunningham - 66
Cooper - 70

Subs

Burse - 64
Saragosa -61
Oduro - 61
Guarda - 60
Avila - 62
Dello-Russo - 59
Pitchkolan - 60

Reserves

Rhine - 57
Shea - 58
Wallace - 59
Wagenfuhr - 58
Watson - 53
Lambo - 57
Wileman - 57
Wadsworth - 56
Daniels - 47

It’s Stottastic!

Posted by KirkBhoy On October - 18 - 2008

Hypothetical situation: a Ukranian and a Brazilian are jarring at each other, then the Ukrainian shoves the Brazilian in the face.  You are the referee, what do you do?

Well, according to the Andre Rocha precedent, the Ukranian gets a big fat red.

If you’re Kevin Stott, you give a yellow card to both players.  That’s right, Mr. Stott.  Show ‘em who’s boss.  Clearly whatever the Brailian dude was saying combined with that minimal contact justifies the smack in the face.

Then when that Brazilian does an average elbow-to-face foul on a jump ball halfway through the first half.  Again, what does the referee in you decide to do?

90% of referees would think: Well its still the first half, don’t give a yellow.
9% of referees would think: Well its still in the first half and he’s already on a yellow, don’t give a second yellow.
1% of referees would think: Well its still in the first half and I did give him that bone-headed first yellow, don’t give him a second yellow.
Mr. Stott (and only Mr. Stott): Confidently stride over there and show him a 2nd yellow and then red.  After all, Max Bretos just called him the best referee in MLS.

 

Interesting Wikipedia page on stotting featuring one of my least favorite biologists:

Richard Dawkins, in his book The Selfish Gene, refers to stotting and explains it as the animal’s attempt at advertising its health. Since mammalian predators tend to hunt old or unhealthy animals, stotting informs the predator that the animal is actually very healthy and strong and the predator might do well to try to hunt the other animals in the herd.

I therefore extend stotting from the biology domain to the soccer domain.  Stotting informs the soccer player that the referee is actually in charge and the soccer player do well to try to not expect games called intelligently.

Don’t take this post to mean we actually deserve a post-season berth.  We don’t.  I just hate Kevin Stott.  Nathan and others — feel free to pile on.

Things that are slower than Davino

Posted by stevetoro On October - 18 - 2008

I was going to write a post praising Saragosa, but he’s just been sent off by Kevin Stott.  So here’s an ode to the alacrity of our CB, Duilio Davino

Things that are slower than Duilio Davino

10. Molasses

9. Glaciers

8. Ketchup in a Glass Bottle

7. Snails

6. Tortoises

5. Erosion

4. Evolution

3. The DMV

2. Sloths

1. Bobby Rhine

Impressions

Posted by NathanRex On October - 17 - 2008

This guy has been doing the rounds on Sky Sports lately.

Anyone up for a good Schellas Hyndman impression?

Has Ruud Gullitt lost it?

Posted by NathanRex On October - 15 - 2008

Yesterday Ruud Gullit told the press that “David [Beckham] is more than just a football player and I think he does extremely well to give football here a lift, but I doubt if they [MLS] really want that. I think they are afraid of football because it’s so popular everywhere around the world. I think they will just control it so it doesn’t become more popular than their American sports.

They will never allow that. Some sports already have had a bit of a dive so they don’t want American football to become less popular, or basketball or baseball.”

What? So are we to believe that there is a conspiracy within MLS to actually stop it becoming successful? Should I call the men in the white coats and ask them to accompany Mr Gullit to a padded cell. Is this sour grapes from the Dutch International that couldn’t organize a piss up in a brewery let alone an MLS team with internationally recognized talent?

What say you?

El Pescadito might not be in Dallas tonight…

Posted by KirkBhoy On October - 11 - 2008

… But his spirit is clearly with us already today.  Anyone watched any of the Texas/Oklahoma game?  Flops, dives, feigned injuries, all there, in the former home of the Dallas Burn.  Kirk Herbstreit (no relation) has busted out a series of jokes, from the tame “this isn’t football, this is soccer here!” to “we need to take away the yellow flags and replace them with yellow cards!”

OU punter Mke Knall brushed up against someone after he kicked the ball (contact he drew, not the defender), then managed to be helped off the field and require stretching by the trainers.

But Colt McCoy has possible careers as an actor and a Serie A striker.  It takes talent to convince a ref that a linebacker illegally pushed you out of bounds when, in reality, he was just trying to keep you from falling into your own teammates.  It takes special talent to do it twice, and against the same defender.

Carlos, your influence continues to thrive in Dallas.  Good job buddy, feel free to take your time getting back to Toronto, we know you will.

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