Mail Bag: October 3, 2008

October 3rd, 2008 by KirkBhoy | Posted in Uncategorized |

No one actually sends me e-mail, but in my quest to become the Bill Simmons of soccer, I’m just forced to make up fake e-mails (Hey, Setanta does it too).  So here we go:

To: KirkBhoy~at~los-toros.com
From: MyLuvChildIsGuarda@smu.edu

Here’s my predictions for this weekends games:

CHIVAS USA over DC United
Columbus Crew over LA GALAXY
New England Revolution over REAL SALT LAKE
TORONTO FC over New York Red Bulls
HOUSTON DYNAMO over Colorado Rapids
CHICAGO FIRE over Kansas City Wizards

Well how convenient, Senor Iron Balls, if that happens, here’s what the standings would look like:

EAST
Columbus - 53
New England - 45
Chicago - 44
New York - 35
DC United - 33
Kansas City - 32
Toronto - 31

WEST
Houston - 43
Chivas - 39
Dallas - 34
Colorado - 34
Salt Lake - 34
San Jose - 30
LA Nebulae - 29

It is worth noting that, ignoring the LA/CC and TFC/NYRB games, this is one of the only scenarios that puts us in playoff position come Monday.  The only other is a DC draw, as we were 1-0-1 against them this season.

To: KirkBhoy~at~los-toros.com
From: Brunito@smu.edu

Why do you hate Bruno Guarda?

Awww, poor little bruno.  If you just completed more than, oh, 12% of your passes would I be satisfied?  No.  Do you see all those long balls from our defense to Jeff Cunningham and Kenny Cooper?  Do you know why we do that?  Do you ever wonder why they’re going over your head?  No?  Really?  Go sit on that bench over there and let Eric Avila show you how it’s done.  Maybe someday you’ll be as good as Schellas claims you are, but you need to prove it against the MLS Reserves first, then you can play with the big boys.

To: KirkBhoy~at~los-toros.com
From: SuperCoop@manu.com

Why no love from Bob Bradley for Kenny Cooper?

I understand Bradley’s dilemna, why would he want to have more than 5 forwards on the roster?  So Kenny would need to beat out one of these five:

Landon Donovan — Ain’t gonna happen, Bradley:Donovan::Hyndmann:Guarda
Jozy Altidore — I totally concur with this call-up.  My ideal rotation for the forward line for the USA is Donovan, Altidore, and Cooper.  Pick the 2 on the best form, let the 3rd come off the bench.  Any of them can take PKs.
Brian Ching — An oldie but a goodie.  Can I see Chingilicious staying on form till 2010?  Nope.  Kenny just needs some chances so that Bradley can have the confidence to drop this old Cadillac before it becomes rusty.  If Ching is an international-level forward, then I am a first-class blogger.
Charlie Davies — From watching Davies in the Olympic Qualifying, I’m convinced he’s just a poor man’s Jozy Altidore.  Both are capable of playing on the wing, yet you’d rather see Davies there because it wouldn’t be wasting as much talent (because he doesn’t have as much).  Bob Bradley needs to learn that Sweden doesn’t really have a better league than MLS.
Clint Dempsey — Yes, the East Texas native probably should be on this list.  Only trouble is Clint doesn’t really have a position, per se, but he just constantly manages to produce in spite of this fact.

Based on the recent call-ups of Davies and Eddie Johnson, I’d say that 6 months in the Hungarian League would be enough for Cooper to make the US squad.