Buzzmaster: Kenny is here!

Kenny Cooper: Thanks for joining me! Happy to be here.

---

Lisa - Dallas, Texas: Everyone seems to get along very well as a team. Do any of you hang out off the field as well? If so, who would you say has the most out going personality? Congrats also on the goals!

Kenny Cooper: Yes we do have a very close team and everyone gets along very well. In high school I played with Drew Moor and we are good buddies. I am close with everyone on the team, but Drew and myself go way back. As far as outgoing personalies, we have a lot of funny guys and we have a great time in the locker room.

---

Dave (Beaverton, OR): Kenny- Why are you so awesome? Have you received any calls from Bob Bradley lately?

Kenny Cooper: Thank you first of all. Actually after the New England game I did get a call up come up with the national team in New York for the game against Argentina. Obviously I did not dress, but it was an honor. Playing for the USA is a goal of mine and it is always a great opportunity to be around those guys.

---

Barrett: Cedar Hill Texas: When you’re not playing soccer, what do you do with your free time?

Kenny Cooper: My family and girlfriend are here in Dallas, so when I am not training I like to spend time with them and coming from a soccer family I like to talk soccer and watch soccer with them. It is a huge part of our lives, so anything involving soccer we are interested in.

---

Jason (Austin TX): How about a prediction between your showdown with the Dynamo?

Kenny Cooper: Hopefully we will come away with a win. But Houston is obviously a very good, strong team. They are defending champs the last two years, so we know we are in for a battle anytime we play them. At the moment I believe the series is tied, and this is the last time we play them this season, so it would be nice to win one down there and win the series. It is always fun to play them and it has becopme a huge rivalry, and the fans get up for the series and it should be a very competitive game. I am looking forward ot it.

---

Steve (Frisco TX): Kenny, how has the recent coaching changes affected team morale? Many of us in Los Toros are counting on you guys having a big second half!

Kenny Cooper: I think anytime a new coach comes in guys get fired up, and everyone is working hard trying to make a good impression. It is an exciting time for us. I am excited for us. I was actually recuited by Sheallis but never had the chance to play for him, so for me, it is a great opportunity to repay him for the faith he showed in me in high school.

---

Sue (Adrian, MI): Hey Kenny - What do you think of the new coach. Is the team adapting well?

Kenny Cooper: Yes, I beleive we are adpating well. He has only been with us for a short time but everyone is wroking hard and is commited to coach Schellas. We have only had one game under him, but we go to Houston with him and we will try to get a good result for him.

---

Sean (Spokane): How was it being apart of Man U early in your career?

Kenny Cooper: It was an incredible experience and a great education. I was surrounded by some of the best players in the world and to be able to see the way they went about their business every day it was great. I would like to think there were a lot of lessons learned and that I was able to apply a lot of what I learned to my career here in MLS.

---

Jacob (Dallas, Texas): How do you feel about the remainder of the MLS Season?

Kenny Cooper: I am excited. I feel like we have done a lot of good things, and with Schellas here now I hope we can take out performance to the next level and finish strong.

---

Gary (Hong Kong): Have you been following the Euro 2008? What’s your take on Turkey’s comebacks and who do you think will take it all?

Kenny Cooper: I have been following the games, and it is great to come home after training and watch the games on ESPN. I actually saw Turkey’s comeback on replay in NY and it was a great comeback win. My two teams (the ones I though would win it), Holland and Portugal, are out now. I think I will go with Germany now to win it all.

---

Brian (Charlotte, NC): You seemed to adjust quickly when leaving Europe. What were the best and worst parts of your time there?

Kenny Cooper: The best part was just being a part of Man U. It is an incredible club. It was a great experience and education, as I said earlier. It was my first taste of pro soccer. To have that opportunity to be around Paul Scholes and Cristiano Ronaldo is invaluable. It was a great 2 1/2 years. It was all good.

---

Jeremy (Dallas, tx): what piece does FC Dallas need the most to put you over the hump this year? I’m sure no one is too pleased with the early playoff exits.

Kenny Cooper: I believe that we have all the pieces in place. I have a lot of confidence in my teammates and coaches. I think we have a team capable of winning MLS Cup, and that is the objective.

---

Nathan (Carrollton, GA): How can I grow to be 6′3″ tall?

Kenny Cooper: I got lucky with my mom’s genes, everyone on my mom’s side of the family is pretty tall.

Kenny Cooper: Thanks everyone for your support and be sure to watch us Thursday night on ESPN2, 9 p.m. ET, against the Dynamo.

Here’s hoping ESPN doesn’t sue my ass. For the record, I submitted a question that went unanswered:

Eddie Robinson: dirty defender, or dirtiest defender?

Your weekly Transcendentalist Horoscope
Random yet oddly appropriate quotes from Henry David Thoreau’s Walden.

What is a course of history or philosophy, or poetry, no matter how well selected, or the best society, or the most admirable routine of life, compared with the discipline of looking always at what is to be seen? Will you be a reader, a student merely, or a seer? Read your fate, see what is before you, and walk on into futurity.

Welcome to FCD, Schellas.

FCD 0-1 New York Blue Balls

I’ve spend a lot of time recently watching Euro 2008 (every game as a matter of fact), and Monday Morning Pescadito has suffered as a result. Compared to that tournament, this was a pick-up game. No real momentum, no real ideas. Clearly no one thought about anything more than the next pass on both sides of the ball. The fact that the only goal of the game came off a corner really clinches that for me. After Euro 2008 is over its going to take a couple weeks before I can honestly enjoy an MLS game again.

Empirically speaking, if someone had told you we were going to go to New York and lose 0-1, what would your reaction be? I would probably have shrugged, no one should have been surprised. Certainly on form for this season. Granted, this is a Red Bull team without Angel, Reyna, and Jozy, but the goal came off a set play (see below), so I’m not going to read too much into this game. Dario Sala earns MMP Man of the Match not only for so many great saves but for this dumbfounded look on his face:

Ultimately, this game shouldn’t matter. The only way it could matter is if we miss the playoffs by just one game, but I’ll not think about that possibility right now.

Meanwhile, is that our new coach in the doghouse?

And so it begins, FC Dallas has their very own Ron Zook. People are already dumping on Schellas Hyndman after only 3 days with the club (Exhibit A, Exhibit B, Exibit C). Ouch, guys. A dude can’t screw things up that bad in 2 days of training!

Let’s start with the formation. The common argument goes like this:

1. We’ve played 3 at the back all season, and
2. Two of our starters (Drew Moor and Adrian Serioux) are out for international duty, thus
3. If we go to a 4-4-2 we’ll have a backline with only 1 starter (Davino)

Well, yes. But how bad is this? Let’s look at the 3-5-2 that would have happened:

Blake Wagner would have started in Serioux’s position (he’s played there before) and Aaron Pitchkolan would have started in Moor’s position (the obvious choice). Pablo Richetti, Andre Rocha, and Juan Toja are basically locks as starters. Saragosa has been playing games lately and Bobby Rhine would get the nod over the still-recovering Dax McCarty.

Now instead the 4-4-2 that Hyndman chose:

And, if I remember correctly (which I do), both Wagner and Rhine played those positions last season. Point being, this was just not a big adjustment. It wasn’t the Che Guevara of formation changes. It was never going to cause an overnight, Luca Toni style plummet in offensive play. And I’ve never bought the argument that a 3-5-2 is better in possession than a 4-4-2. I always considered it a wee bit worse because you force the defenders and the strikers into their roles — no fullbacks coming forward, no real way for strikers to come back and help defend an overly crowded midfield. There are certainly advantages to each, but I think that ultimately a 4-4-2 is the best formation in the long run. Do we have the players for it? Steve Morrow didn’t really think so, Hyndman (hopes he) does. Seeing as how Morrow played at Arsenal and my mother was graduating from college when Hyndmann got his first head coaching gig, its safe to say they both know better than any of us do.

Quickly, I want to talk about possession. What possession, you say? This reminds me of an interaction I had with a tennis coach of mine:

Coach: KirkBhoy, you need to get yourself back in shape.
KirkBhoy: Coach, you can’t get back in shape if you’ve never been in shape to begin with.

Thats what I think of our possession game. It was honestly the biggest problem I had with Morrow. I don’t expect a midfield of Xavi, Fabregas, and Iniesta, here. No silky passes and through balls. I just want possession to be defined as something other than:

Step A: Find Andre Rocha
Step B: Pass to Kenny Cooper
Step C: If ‘keeper is off his line, chip shot. Otherwise, run towards the goal line.

Perhaps I’ll start keeping track not of possession percentage, but possession length (without that passing around by the defenders crap). Having lots of possession is frustrating for the opposition and eventually opens up good chances. But only if the possession forces the opponent to run around chasing the ball. Will Hyndman satisfy my standard for possession? No. But I think, with the level of offensive talent we have and the way Sala has been playing, if we can have a New England or DC United style possession game, we’ll get over our playoff troubles sooner rather than later.

And give the dude a break. He’s going to be the coach at least till the crystal ball drops on 2010. He’s done enough for SMU and the city of Dallas to place some faith in the guy.

Apologies for the sparseness of silly pictures, that is the kind of shape I can get back into.

WTF Commentary of the Week

Listening to Max Bretos add tidbits of information to his mediocre play-by-play is like having a migraine while riding in a subway car. The CIA does more fact-checking than this guy. At least 2-3 times a game he tries to be cute and makes some sophomoric mistake. For example, he stated Blake Wagner was from the hotbed of soccer that is Atlanta, GA. Go look at Wagner’s profile, he left ATL when he was 10 months old, which is not enough time to pick up soccer skills. For the record, I was drunk for at least 10 total months while in Atlanta. When he was four, Blake moved to what he considers his hometown and another city I am quite familiar with: Tampa, Florida. For the record, I have not spent 10 total months drunk in Tampa.

Point is, Bretos has all these little tidbits he likes to throw around, and so many of them, while cute, are flat wrong. If he wants to be a major soccer play-by-play man, he has to act like one. Stop looking at some stat sheet and do actual research. Do you think JP Dellacamera or Derek Rae make these amateur mistakes? Certainly not.

Minutiae

Anyone else hate it when teases run 23 days past when they should? It is clearly some group of soccer bloggers centered on www.designatedplayers.com led by The Offside Rules‘ Shawn Francis. I’m sure I’m not the first fool to find his way to this GoDaddy page as evidence of what is going on. Get on with it guys, and if it doesn’t have an RSS feed, I’ll likely visit it fewer than 10 times.

Is anyone else not enamored with the number of foreign-born players playing for countries in the European Championships?  Legal reasons force FIFA to allow some Brazilian who went to play in Warsaw in 2006 to be eligible for the Polish national team, similar situations for Turkey, Spain, Portugal, etc etc.  I considered having a Most Euro section that, instead of discouraging such activity, highlighted the players who I thought most typified their country.  But when I got into it, I realized it was essentially just my stereotypes of Turks, Swedes, Croats and the like.  Basically it was borderline racism.  Hell, I still might post it.

and your Weekly Namesake Update
Ripped the mighty St. Lucia to pieces the other day, scoring a quad. Was a part of the 2nd leg team that won as well, putting Guatemala through to the group stages.

To whet your appetites, you should know that Pescadito will be coming to an American stadium November 19th. Whaaa? You say… You see, he actually gets minutes for (and scores goals for) Guatemala, who are in the same World Cup qualifying group as Uncle Sam.

Click for pics, links, and video.

(more…)

“MLS teams will communicate to their supporter groups MLS’s existing policy - that streamers are not to be used to impact on-field competition or thrown toward a player, referee or stadium staff member. While the spontaneous use of streamers and confetti as an expression of fan enthusiasm will not be prohibited, the continued practice will be kept under review. Should issues continue regarding the use of streamers, MLS will have no option but to prohibit streamers.”

(emphasis mine)

To me, this is a non-change. MLS is just re-iterating its pre-existing policy. However, I think I’m going to limit my personal streamer throwing to the start of each half and after goals (due to recent results, this is rarely more than 3 times a game). I think being louder will impact atmosphere more than throwing streamers, and perhaps our streamer throwing is distracting us from this goal? Its a personal decision ultimately, and I could change my mind back.

How pathetic is that? I need to up the level of intellectual discourse on this site.

Here’s a review of a couple other notable sites:

The Offside Rules: High School
MLS Rumors: College (Undergrad) [WTF?]
Ives: High School
Goff: Elementary School [Super-WTF]

NYTimes: High School
NYPost: Elementary School
CNN.com: Elementary School
Wikipedia: College (Undergrad)

Found on Rogue Classicism: College (Undergrad)

As I walked on the railroad causeway, I used to wonder at the halo of light around my shadow, and would fain fancy myself one of the elect. One who visited me declared that the shadows of some Irishmen before him had no halo about them, that it was only natives that were so distinguished.

Think about it.

FCD 2-2 Bayou City Bad Boys

I believe I predicted Andre Rocha’s red card back in the first week of the season. Sure, I incorrectly guessed the method of the crime. But I believe that if Rocha knew a love tap was worthy of a red, he would’ve just hammer punched Eddie Robinson to at least make the red worth it. Someone really should hammer punch the Mike Tyson of MLS. Luckily for Robinson, Ricardo Clark is on his team, so at least his shoulder is safe. [Edit: The Goffster is reporting Robinson will receive an extra game suspension for his altercation with Rocha.]

We were once again out-passioned by the Houston fans. There weren’t really that many of them, probably a couple hundred. Still, if you didn’t look over at their section, you’d swear they had 4 sections. On top of that, this was a Wednesday night game. A re-scheduled Wednesday night at that. How did the Dynapoo get so many rowdy people up here in the middle of the week? I could give Houston the benefit of the doubt, say they have great fans, passionate supporters, wonderful organization. I could do that. But I won’t. Instead, I’ll speculate on the real reason they had all those fans:

1. AEG blew the stadium budget on malt liquor, which was distributed at 200 ft intervals along I-45. Homeless bums then slowly made their way up the state, becoming increasingly more inebriated. Whenever one would pass out, Oscar De La Hoya would punch them in the back of their head, forcing both vomiting and short-term memory loss, allowing them to continue their journey. Really they started the trip in white shirts, but by the time they arrived in Frisco, they were a “well-stained” orange hue thanks to the Goldenboy.

   

2. Those weren’t actually people. They were just over-sized fleas that spend most of the week residing in Dwayne DeRosario’s afro. You see, he can’t get rid of them permanently, but he’s worked out a deal that they leave his scalp just for games. This way his head doesn’t itch during games, and the fleas don’t have to put up with all the annoying spinning and bobbing he does all match.

   

3. Since your average Houston fan hasn’t done an honest day’s work in his life, having the game on Wednesday night was actually quite convenient. Welfare checks are dispensed on Monday. Hubcap stores do all their purchasing on Tuesday. By Thursday, both money sources have dried up, so they move on to drug deals. Friday they sleep in all day, because that’s their equivalent of a TGIF. On Saturday, they feel just a little bit guilty and so they go to confession. Sunday mornings they plan out their new, “respectable” lives, but forget about it by the afternoon. On Monday, the process repeats itself. See? There’s a nice spot on Wednesday where they have nothing to do, yet still have some cash.

   

4. Really, the people dressed up as Houston fans were just members of the Inferno, disillusioned by the firing of Steve Morrow. This theory has been rejected because the Inferno are never that loud.

FCD 1-2 Commerce City Crapids

If you told me Team A had two skillful strikes and Team B had a garbage goal, you’d have a difficult time convincing me that FCD was Team B (well, except for the losing part, I’d get that one easy). Normally it seems that we have both the moments of brilliance and the defensive blunders that lead to silly goals.

Juan Toja is just being played too far forward for this team. If we had any ability to possess in the midfield, especially in the central midfield, he’d be perfect playing a central attacking midfielder. Instead, he’s too far forward to help a lot in possession and to help much in defense (hence the dramatic reduction in his fouls), and not forward enough to get the ball on the attack, since we just boot it over his head anyway. The dude is clearly frustrated, and his play shows it. But maybe if he got more touches we’d see a different Toja. I’m wondering if we played more of a 3-3-2-2, he’d be playing closer to the center line. Something like this:

—-Cooper—Oduro—–
—–Toja—–Rocha—–
Wagner—Saragosa—Dax
Serioux—Davino—-Moor

Admittedly, I have no clue what I’m talking about when it comes to such things. But I’m pretty sure I’m right about what is affecting Toja, at least in part. Dave Dir mentioned this in the broadcast. Smart man, that Dave Dir. At the very least, give Toja a game in central midfield with Rocha as the AM to see if JT shows us some of what we know is there.

For the record, it is Tam McManus, not Tom McManus. Don’t believe me? Try Wikipedia: Tam McManus, Tom McManus. Its a Scottish thing. Having said that, he probably doesn’t care.

Many of you probably know I have a special place in my heart for Ray Burse Jr. He had one slight error and should have been about 6 inches closer to his inside post, but there was a comedy of defensive errors plus a touch of Scottish brilliance that led to that goal, so you can’t put it all on him. Besides, he had a pretty damn good game otherwise. Not bad for a guy working two jobs.

Minutiae

Do yourself a favor and stay at least 20 feet from a copy of Grand Theft Auto IV. If you want more stupid text imposed on random pictures and jokes about what else is in DeRo’s hair, then steal my copy.

Anyone looking to purchase some property in the south of Scotland?

and your Weekly Namesake Update
Came on in the 67th minute against Toronto FC. Chosen behind both Edson Buddle and Alan Gordon, but ahead of Landon Donovan (who, admittedly, has a knock).

Hou-stank. 

Ok folks, tomorrow is the big day! Houston is coming to town and judging by Saturday’s attendance and the usual numbers for midweek games, there won’t be too many butts in the seats. But, that doesn’t mean we can’t be loud and proud, 10,000 cheering fans are much louder than 2,000 cheering fans and 13,000 fans sitting on their hands. Oh, and $1 brats and beers (pregame only). Let’s cheer the boys to victory!

Bishop Stortford (Toni Basil’s Hey Mickey - sung to St Albans goalkeeper Nick Eyre):
“Hey Nicky you’re so fine, you’re so fine, you’re two behind, hey Nicky!”

Arsenal (The Jackson 5’s Blame it on the Boogie):
“Don’t blame it on Henry, don’t blame it on the injuries, don’t blame it on the referees, blame it on Eboue!”

Man Utd (Black Lace’s Agadoo):
“Anderson-son-son, he’s better than Kleberson,
Anderson-son-son, he’s our midfield magician,
To the left to the right we’ll dance the samba beat tonight,
He is class, our midfield brass, and he dumps on Fabregas!”

Newcastle (The Beatles’ Let It Be):
“When we find ourselves in times of trouble, Kevin Keegan comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom, Geremi!”

Tottenham (Elvis Presley’s The Wonder Of You):
“That’s Ju-ande, Ju-ande Ramos!”

Everton (Black Lace/The Tweenies’ Music Man):
“I am the Music Man. I come from far away. And I can play (what can you play?) I Play The Pienaar! Pi Pi Pi Pi Pienaaaaaar!”

Chester (The Outhere Brothers’ Boom Boom Boom - to Simon Yeo):
“Boom, boom, boom, let me hear you say Yeo, Yeooo!” (Also used for Paul Mayo by Notts County fans - Ed).

Blackburn (Christmas standard Santa Claus Is Coming):
“You better watch out,
You better beware,
He’s good on the ground and he’s good in the air,
Santa Cruz is coming to town.”

Newcastle (Happy Days theme tune):
“Sunday, Monday, Habib Beye
Tuesday, Wednesday, Habib Beye
Thursday, Friday, Habib Beye
Saturday, Habib Beye, rocking all week with you!”

Man City (The Proclaimers’ I’m Gonna Be (500 miles)):
“Oh you can freeze 500 million, and you can freeze 500 more, Cos Thaksin’s got another billion underneath his bedroom floor, Shin-a-watra! Shin-a-watra!”

Look Alikes Chants

“You’re just a fat Paris Hilton.”
Arsenal fans to Liverpool’s Andriy Voronin.

“There’s only one Tina Turner!”
Doncaster’s big-haired Jason Price gets the treatment from Forest.

“You’re just a fat Annie Lennox!”
No More I Love Yous from the Spurs fans to West Ham’s Dean Ashton.
 
And on the bench for Eastleigh…

“There’s only one Roland Browning.”
Bognor Regis fans taunt Eastleigh sub Steve Watts.

(Roland Browing was a character in a kids soap opera based around life at school called Grange Hill.
Roland Browning was the classic fat nerdy kit who was always being picked on.)

“You’re just a fat Kevin Doyle!”
Reading fans to Robbie Keane.

“He’s big, he’s Scouse, he looks like Mickey Mouse!”
Sheffield Wednesday fans take the mickey out of Franny Jeffers.

“You’re supposed to be a gnome!”
Millwall fans to Northampton’s pint-sized full-back Danny Jackman.

“Sit down, Pinocchio!”
Spurs fans to Boro boss Gareth Southgate.

Anonymous said…

WOW! What a game wasn’t sure we were going to pull it off; but I am glad we did I would have hated us to go up against Houston without a win. How about that new supporter section on the east side of the stadium? They really got the crowd going, keep it up!

-Mary

May 24, 2008 9:14 PM

Dallas ’til I die, indeed.