Today’s [yes, today's] MMP got picked up by GSP.ro. Kirkbhoy, meet your adoring public. In Romania.
Suporterii formaţiei americane FC Dallas sunt nemulţumiţi că jucătorul Juan Toja ar putea ajunge la Steaua şi l-au sfătuit pe acesta, pe un site dedicat echipei, să nu se transfere în România.
or, for us who speak good American English (one of three official languages of Los Toros, the other two being Spanish and Scottish English):
The supporters of the American team FC Dallas don’t like that Juan Toja could join Steaua and they advised him, on a site dedicated to the team [Well, not really. We're more dedicated to our favorite team, ourselves, and the ways we keep ourselves drunk occupied during games.], not to transfer to Romania.
I’d translate the rest of the article, but you’ve already read today’s MMP. So, we have a message for the Romanian press who ripped off our hard work:
Ma-ta e atât de grasa ca NASA a lansat un satelit în jurul ei.
And we mean it. Really.
Now for your amusement, FC Dallas fans [All 6 of you who read this blog, that is...] ,we present translations of the top comments from today’s GSP.ro article. Come on, now, fair is fair — we did part of the work for them. At least they can provide some entertainment for all y’all. (Note to GSP.ro: ‘all y’all‘ se traduce ‘voi toti‘.)
#10: What a making! [Excuse me?] Only a frustrated journalist who is a Dinamo [yes, like SteveToro...], Rapid [like, uh, no one. No one likes any team named Rapid. It's like naming your team Good with Feet or Likes to Kick.], or Cluj [like KirkBhoy] supporter could write something like that on the site of a semi-known team. I’m f*cking sick of the Romanian press.
#8: f*ck america! they should watch their american football. like they would know european football! [Why do you think we watch European football? Have you seen a Ravens-49ers game? Ugh.]
#7: what a high standard of soccer they have!!!!!!!!! [Easy on the exclamation points there, Radu] I saw a game in their championship and you don’t know what they’re playing — I almost fell asleep! [so do we...] it goes without saying that between Steaua and FC Dallas, there’s too big of a difference! they should care about their basketball, baseball and American football! [Have you seen our teams play recently? We'd be happy to give Becali the Texas Rangers. Or the Mavericks. At least, with Nowitzki they could beat FC Nurenburg! How's that game with Roma going to go, Stellei?]
#5: Bullsh*t. [Nice language, Popsecu]. To say in their language [I guess it's our language. But get it straight. We also accept Spanish and Scots.And Romanian, if you're counting our translations.]. If the Americans know of Becali… it means that… [Yeah, we know Becali, but mostly about how he takes care of cars.] but the part about ceaucescu is true.
#4: 500 years ago they were eating each other. [Oh, are you still upset about the 'your mom' joke I made earlier? I could make others, you know...] Did the cannibals start to talk about soccer?
Conducerea lui FC Dallas a ridicat la 750.000 de dolari suma de transfer a columbianului în momentul în care a primit oferta scrisă a Stelei
which means:
The leadership of FC Dallas has offered $750K at this moment for a transfer of the Colombia [Toja] in response to the first written offer from [Steaua].
Uh, oh… couple that with what Diego Aparicio had to say today:
El Steaua de Bucarest, el club más popular de Rumania, ofreció entre 1 y 1.5 millones de dólares por la transferencia de Juan Toja, volante del FC Dallas, reportaron medios rumanos.
which means:
[Steaua], the most popular club in Romania, has offered between 1 and 1.5 million dollars for the transfer of Juan Toja, midfielder of FC Dallas, the Romania media has reported.
In what must be an obvious attempt to get Gigi Becali to back off of our boy JT, the Romanian press is spreading vile, terribly-unfounded rumors about Toja’s history with that scourge of scourges, that evil of evils, that nasty, nasty, nasty substance: weed.
The Daily Cancan [a Romanian magazine like US Weekly] wrote yesterday, citing the South American newspaper, Diario Hoy, that Toja had been suspended 3 years ago for smoking marijuana. He had tested positive in 3 successive checkups, and he had been suspended from play for six months in the Colombian championship, at that time performing for Independiente Santa Fe. “We forgave him multiple times and we didn’t bite his head off. We gave him the possibility to play and we let him go to River Plate,” declared Eduardo Mendez, chief of Santa Fe.
Stay tuned to Los-Toros.com, sports fans, for the all the latest Toja news from Romania…
A column about my favorite commentary subjects: unnecessary laziness and flashy brilliance.
Your Weekly Transcendentalist Horoscope
Random yet oddly appropriate quotes from Henry David Thoreau’s Walden.
…we require that all things be mysterious and unexplorable, that land and sea be infinitely wild, unsurveyed and unfathomed by us because unfathomable. We can never have enough of nature. We must be refreshed by the sight of inexhaustible vigor, vast and titanic feature…
I re-watched the classic movie Clash of the Titans this weekend (they’re doing a re-make and I thought I should refresh myself). Last week I did Roman mythology, this week its Greek I guess. Apologies if I’m in a mythological mood…
FCD 2-2 Colorado Rapid Bowel Movements
MMP Prediction: 0-1
Actual Result: 2-2
And Zeus decried, “All the good teams are taking part in SuperLiga this weekend! Therefore, I command mediocrity throughout the land of MLS!!” And so it was done:
Needless to say this weekend was not one of the MLS regular season’s finest hours. Five games, five draws. It could have been worse for FC Dallas, you see, a 0-0 draw would have been quite a blow to team (and fan) psyche. Luckily for ya’ll I don’t have it in me for a ton of mythological references, but I’m sure there’s more opportunity here.
On a positive note, for three minutes we learned what it was like to be ahead. I even overheard a conversation that contained those elusive words “three points”. Sigh. At least since everyone else tied this entire round was basically a wash.
Monday Morning Pescadito Man of the Match will *not* go to Adrian Serioux. I considered giving him the award in the hopes that he’ll use the prize money to get a new contact prescription. Totally at fault for a mis-clearance on the first goal. I swear we’ve seen that goal several times in the last few games with only slight variations. I should look at the Charleston game highlights. But that would involve looking at the Charleston game highlights.
Instead, MMP MotM goes to our good buddy, Marcello Saragosa. He managed to set up two goals! Unfortunately, one of them was for the other team. SteveToro was saying during the game that, if not for Bouna Coundoul, we would have lost 0-2. Well, if not for two crappy clearances, it would have been 2-0. Colorado’s 2nd goal was a nice one: cross into the box from Terry Cooke, a nice flick into a dangerous area by the 3 foot tall Christian Gomez, and a clean finish by Connor Casey. But roll the tape back farther and maybe the prettiest pass of all was Saragosa’s low clearance just to the foot of “Beefcake” Cooke.
At some point the players just need to realize that most of the goals we’re giving up are just plain stupid. Perhaps we’re a good team that, once we fix the defensive brain farts, will eventually start playing like one. I wouldn’t say we had a great possession game, but we still controlled the match for long periods. Let’s not let a couple defensive gaffs ruin our season. Maybe we should go with the Clarence Goodson school of defense: kick the ball high, hard, and far. It doesn’t need to be pretty, but what we’re doing now sure is uglier than even what “Clearance” did.
Did anyone notice that Davino went all the way into the opposing box during the run of play once? If Duilio can get that deep, why can’t our midfield go all the way to the byline to send in a cross? I’m looking at you, Andre Rocha. The 3-5-2 doesn’t seem to let players do this, much to my annoyance. Only strikers being chased by lunatic goalies outside the box seem to get to the byline in this formation. Dax McCarty managed to get a little bit higher.
I didn’t quite get why we started Dominic Oduro instead of Abe Thompson. Or at least, in hindsight, I didn’t get why it would be more advantageous to start him as opposed to bringing him on as a sub to better utilize his speed. Both have shown us almost nothing over the past few games other than Abe’s extra time goals. The upside to Oduro, however, is that since the guy must weight 130 pounds (I don’t believe the 160 lbs for a second), he’s real easy to push over in the box. He also rivals Saragosa for diving ability.
Clearly, Juan Toja doesn’t read this blog. If he did, he would have learned about how much I hate Steaua Bucharest’s owner, George “Gigi” Becali. I linked to this article in a MMP two months ago.
I fully support Toja going to a place to further his career. And Romania does have a better league and Steaua Bucharest is leaps and bounds above FC Dallas in size and quality. But Romania? Really? I know too many good-humored Romanians to not do a piece entitled….
The Top Five Reasons Not to Move to Romania
5. Adrian Mutu’s mole basically has its own zip code. It’ll be all over billboards and TV. Women will constantly bring it up in conversation. Eventually the subject will make you vomit.
4. Romanians have curse words for everything. You don’t believe me? Look here (NSFW). Note: This link is not for those with a weak stomach. Ia-o pe curva aia de ma-ta si duceti-va sa beliti pula la urs ca va plateste tata biletul de autobuz!
3. One of my favorite South Park quotes of all time:
Reporter: Tom, it looks like these cute little girls have made it out of that armpit of a country they call Romania.
2. Their national hero is this dude (seriously Juan, f*cking run):
1. Have you ever heard of Nicolae Ceauşescu? No? Oh, well go read his Wikipedia page. What a real asshole, right? Guess what? YOU’LL BE PLAYING FOR HIS TEAM.
Ok, so that’s probably a little over-the-top. Ceauşescu was executed almost 20 years ago and modern Steaua fans probably aren’t huge fans of the dude. But still, I don’t think playing for Becali is a huge step down. One was a far-left socialist accused of genocide, the other a far-right ultra-Christian who thinks Hungarians deserve no place in Romania and has volunteered to pay for a referendum to “finish off all homosexuals in the country”. In a different time, I don’t see Becali as a better person.
Minutiae
While looking through that MMP that talked about Steaua, I noticed my pictures encouraging Jozy Altidore to go to Spain. Success! Good luck to you, buddy. May you learn much from Leo Messi and company. Now if only some Spanish company would purchase my contract for $10 Million.
Scored his first goal of the season. PARTY! Of course he was assisted by Edson Buddle, so he ain’t exactly gonna improve his place on the depth chart. IF you have $460k to spend, you can still be the proud owner of El Pescadito!
After a fun evening with friends and plenty of vodka cocktails, he was set up with a pretty brunette by his manager.
Cool. His agent’s a pimp. (We knew that, but hey…)Tell me more:
A source said: ‘Cristiano’s agent didn’t want him spend the night alone, so he set him up with a beautiful brunette who was hanging around the bar at the end of the evening.
Wow. I wish my agent would do that. (Wait, I don’t have an agent.Action item: get an agent, get to L.A.) So, what does the (latest) great Ronaldo drink?
Ronaldo - who is still on crutches as he recuperates from an ankle operation - had been drinking White Russian and vodka pineapple cocktails.
White russians? Either he’s auditioning for a role in Sex and the City II: Electric Boogaloo, I guess he really is The Dude…
E Toja! Jucătorul şi-a dat acordul, iar Becali i-a anunţat ieri prin fax pe americani că e de acord cu preţul fixat, 500.000 de dolari pentru un transfer definitiv
Cine e jucătorul despre care Gigi Becali a spus la finalul amicalului cu Beşiktaş că “va fi ultimul transfer al Stelei în această vară”? Surse din club au dezvăluit că este vorba despre columbianul Toja, aşa cum Gazeta a anunţat încă de acum două săptămîni (foto).
8 străini va avea Steaua în lot după aducerea lui Toja, jumătate dintre ei fiind extracomunitari: Zapata, Emeghara, Dayro şi Toja
A urmat un schimb de faxuri între gruparea din Ghencea şi cea din Dallas. Americanii au solicitat 500.000 de dolari în schimbul fotbalistului, iar Gigi Becali a cerut termen de gîndire. Apoi li s-a cerut părerea celorlalţi columbieni din lotul Stelei, Zapata şi Dayro Moreno, despre Toja. Referinţele au fost dintre cele mai bune, cei doi sud-americani spunîndu-le şefilor că ar fi o investiţie excelentă, aşa că Steaua a trimis oferta oficială în America. Zilele viitoare vor fi semnate actele, iar Toja va ajunge la Bucureşti.
[1:39 pm] Got a real, live Romanian native speaker to help me translate:
It’s Toja! The player gave his approval, and Becali let the Americans know [yesterday, meaning July 16, 2008] by FAX that he agrees with the $500K price for a permanent transfer.
Who is the player that Gigi Becali has said at the end of the friendly with Besiktas that “it will be the last transfer this summer for Steaua“? Club sources revealed that it is the Colombian Toja, as our paper [Gazeta] announced even two weeks ago.
Steaua will have eight foreigners on its team after bringing Toja, half of them being from outside the EU: Zapata, Emeghara, Dayro, and Toja.
An exchange of FAXes followed between Ghencea and the Dallas clubs. The Americans requested $500K for the footballer, and Gigi Becali requested time to think. Then the asked the other Colombian players from Steaua, Zapata and Moreno about Toja. The references were only the best and the 2 South Americans told the bosses that it would be an excellent investment, so Steaua sent the official offer to the U.S. In the next days, the papers will be signed and Toja will arrive in Bucharest.
Many thanks to Finley Lacatusu, Los Toros’s official translator of bad news!
“As far as I’m concerned Toja is a FC Dallas player,” said Hyndman. “Unless of course the numbers are so crazy we can’t not do it. Juan Toja is a very valuable member of this team. He’s going to the All-Star game. All teams want to get better and he’s a good player so people want to sign him. We’ve had trade offers from several MLS teams for him and quite a few teams from other countries have made offers.”
That’s enough foray into mls-rumors.net terror-itory for one linguistically-inclined Toro. Although I’m fully aware that Becali is crazy enough to throw crazy money at FCD, I’m going to sleep well tonight knowing that JT (at least the ‘08 edition) is safe at home.
As reported by both Goff and Ives (and if both those two had reported there were WMD in Iraq, even the Vatican might have jumped into the Coalition of the Willing).
I ain’t gonna complain, as an alternate selection due to US Olympic Team call-ups, he probably won’t be playing too many minutes, which is a good thing.
Here’s hoping he demolishes the Hammers and their stupid Blowing Bubbles song even worse than he dismantled Celtic last year. Maybe he’s got a nice bonus in his contract for this too. In retrospect, I can’t complain about Celtic losing, and here’s a reason why.
The game was almost a week ago but expecting a MMP before Monday is as foolhardy as thinking Jason Kidd could improve the Mavericks.
Your Weekly Transcendentalist Horoscope
Random yet oddly appropriate quotes from Henry David Thoreau’s Walden.
It seemed by the distant hum as if somebody’s bees had swarmed, and that the neighbors, according to Virgil’s advice, by a faint tintinnabulum upon the most sonorous of their domestic utensils, were endeavoring to call them down into the hive again.
Speaking of Virgil, this season might make a worthy epic poem someday… At least thats what I keep telling myself… Hopefully Kenny Cooper won’t play the role of Aeneas… Maybe I should do an entire MMP in dactylic hexameter… Had anyone else ever seen the word tintinnabulum somewhere? Its really a wonder where these random HDT quotes take me.
FCD 1-3 Charleston Rickety Old Forts
MMP Prediction: A win
Actual Result: Not quite
I really need to stop drinking at FC Dallas games.
There’s a lot to be angry at this team for. We’re all angry for the constant losing. Many are angry at the Front Office for releasing Steve Morrow and yes, even El Pescadito. Plenty are angry at the hiring of Schellas Hyndmann. I’m angry at myself for letting some poorly supported MLS team drive me down a path towards alcoholism. My drenched socks are angry at the weather and my refusal to get out of it. Turns out, Hyndmann himself was quite angry after the game. But most of all, and I’m sure many of you will agree with me on this, I’m angry at the lack of effort. I don’t mean the lack of running around, the lack of wanting to win. Ultimately, effort in this game involves risk, and this team is running scared. Considering I’ve agreed with pretty much everything that has come out of Hyndmann’s mouth in terms of tactics–and he’s far more willing to talk tactics publicly than Morrow–so I’m going to define this risk in terms of doing what the coach tells you to do (ie, get forward, get wide). Some quotables:
“Width is one of the principles of attack and you need to have it. We had width but it’s not where we want it to be. We have flank players who want to play around the center line. I can’t tell you how many conversations we’ve had about them getting into the attacking third. It’s just really uncomfortable for these guys. It just comes to the point of doing what we ask you to do or we have to find people.”
Schellas Hyndmann
“The only width in the final third was coming from Abe”
Buzz Carrick
Sigh.
For those regular readers, you know that I’ve tried to stay positive. You’ve probably noticed that trend has eroded over recent matches. I usually don’t take a high view of people who do nothing but insult the team. For example, on the bus ride back from the Houston game last year, I heard a lot of insults thrown around, but most of those people were merely convincing me they know nothing of the sport or, for that matter, how to build a team. Especially one in a salary cap league.
So my brain is going to veto what my gut wants to say and stay as positive as possible. Have you ever heard a psychologist tell someone that for every negative thing said, a positive thing should accompany it? It usually ends in the most uncomplimentary compliments you ever did hear. I make no promises that I’ll avoid such statements. But here’s a list of positive things about our team (feel free to add the necessary dose of pain):
We’ve got an awful lot of talented central midfielders. For the second week in a row, let’s list them off. The South Americans: Pablo Richetti, Marcello Saragosa, Andre Rocha, Juan Toja. The North Americans: Dax McCarty, Eric Avila, Anthony Wallace, Adrian Serioux (eh?). Each have their upsides (yes, even Saragosa). Each have their glaring weaknesses. Who are our two best wingers (are you ready for this?): David Wagenfeur and Bobby Rhine. Who out there cringed? I miss Wags for a variety of reasons: the huge smile, the semi-innuendo nickname, the unquestionable fitness. Unfortunately, he’s had a little bit of a headache recently, and Bobby seems to get hurt or red-carded every time he walks out on the field. We’ve seen Arturo Alvarez, Brek Shea, and Blake Wagner play there as well, but Wags and Rhine have provided the best service and are the only proven two-way players of the bunch. So unless we plan on playing a 1-7-2 (it would be fun for, like, one half), we’ve got some trade-bait.
We’ve got a great combination of experience and youth in defense. So eventually, I’ll be able to close my eyes and not see Duilio Davino scrambling in a 1-on-1 against a defender. Eventually.
We’ve got Kenny Cooper. Yes, do your best to hold back the tears.
We’ve got some great role-playing forwards. Abe Thompson plays the role of scorer of crucial goals in spite of all odds. Dominic Oduro and Ricardinho play the role of speedsters with massive potential.
We’re only 4 points out of a playoff spot. See, there’s an upside to parity after all. Honestly, I do think Dallas will make a push. Maybe not as significant as the Galaxy’s ultimately futile push at the end of last season. But I’m confident we’ll put together a streak or two of wins/road draws. Its just a matter of getting up to that level soon and being somewhat consistent.
We did win that cannon thingie. Thank you away goals rule.
Our best player didn’t just punch someone during a knockout game. No, ours did that 2 years ago.
If this is the lowest we can go, surely the sky is the limit. Ladies and gentlemen, make sure your seat belts are securely fastened, cross your fingers, and hold on tight to the handlebars. Enjoy the ride.
and your Weekly Namesake Update
And you thought FCD’s future was uncertain.
A column about my favorite commentary subjects: unnecessary laziness and flashy brilliance.
Its been a busy run of days for FC Dallas, and the whole MMP staff has been struggling to put this latest one together for you on time. Big group effort. Since there were 4 games in 9 days to cover, analysis of each game will be slim on greatness (similar to the team’s performances). The Charleston game will be included in next week’s edition.
Your weekly Transcendentalist Horoscope
Random yet oddly appropriate quotes from Henry David Thoreau’s Walden.
The rays which stream through the shutter will be no longer remembered when the shutter is wholly removed.
FCD 1-1 Houstank
Something was wierd about the Houston team in the first half. I managed to find the team photo from the game:
Top Row: Boswell, Clark, Onstad, Davis, Mullen, Ianni
Bottom Row: Barrett, Waibel, Ching, De Rosario, Holden
I can’t quite place it. Moving on…
FCD 1-2 Chivas de Actual
People are going to harp on giving up the late goals. But are Dello-Russo and Wallace starters? Close to being starters? Does this result really matter? Could any of this possibly phase Dario Sala and hurt his confidence? If you answered yes to any of the previous questions, go drown yourself in a puddle of kitten blood. I’ll even provide it for you.
I actually thought the game was pretty. Sure, there were some times that we resorted to mad scrambles to get back on defense, but did anyone else pay attention to the flow of the game? Chivas dominated, natch, but FCD managed to put some great passing sequences together. At one point I counted twelve consecutive completed passes in the first half. And Dominic Oduro managed to touch it twice in that sequence, only giving it away once! I’m not giving Dallas all the credit or Chivas’ defense, for that matter. Chivas didn’t attack the ball on defense like a typical American team would. They weren’t constantly clipping at heels, but rather keeping their team shape. It was very subtle, but it made for a much more attractive game. Also, probably why our goal didn’t come during the run of play. If American youth teams played like this, the USMNT wouldn’t be ranked 13 places behind Bulgaria (name a top Bulgarian player not named Berbetov or Petrov… go!). Point is, that style of play is how ball skills develop. Unfortunately, the entire league would have to work together to make the game that pretty.
What I am not endorsing, however, is a league filled with 4 ft tall players and a 3 ft tall referee. Juan Toja looked like he was Gulliver.
FCD 2-1 Miami Vices
Did anyone else think Miami was composed of a bunch of players who wanted to be Denilson? Seriously, waaayy too many fancy passes and waaayyyy too little possession. They must hold their practices in the moving walkways at Miami’s airport like this commercial:
Like MIA, Miami FC is a total hunk of trash. I’ve been following the story of the Cuban defectors, but I find it frightening that a team in Miami cannot find a place for these guys. It doesn’t bode well for them. However, a Brazilian, Alex Alfonso essentially was the offense. He scored a goal out of nothing and was the only real threat all night (hey, Dario’s left post was _always_ going to stop that shot, you hear? Every. time.). Unfortunately, we’re plum out of international spots it seems, so I’m not sure we want to bring Alfonso in on trial and just put him on other teams’ radars. I was going to say something nice about Toja, as he did dominate the entire game, but I was a little scared how much everyone else seemed to rely on him.Oh, Abe Thompson, you say? That’s just what the Iron Man does (exhibit A, exhibit B). There will be more on him below.FCD 1-1 Kasas City (insert Blazing Saddles reference here)
Kansas City is really not a good team. Fortunately (from a neutral’s perspective), neither are we. So that made a game of it.While criticized by fellow Los Toros members for not wearing FCD’s appropriately red, white, and blue jersey on the July 4, I think in the end, the shirt I did wear brought just enough luck to the team:
That’s right, I’m taking partial credit for Abe Thompson’s equalizer. Take your objections to the Geek Complaint Department. Though we might have to give Abe’s nickname a subtitle: “Iron Man Abe Thompson: The Man with the Iron Touch”.
In all seriousness, I really don’t have much to say about this game. Rather, I will hand out the Monday Morning Pescadito Man of the 4-Matches (MMPMot4M) in this section. As a reminder, this award may be given out to anyone embodying any of El Pescadito’s enigmatic traits. The first finalist (representing the not-no-fabulous) has to be Marcelo Saragosa. Now many people would be willing to pay for his taxi ride to the airport for his Pescadito-esque passing abilities. I, however, have somewhat of an appreciation that we have someone like that on our roster. However, when provided with Saragosa’s address, I will pay for this shirt:
(as seen on Du Nord) It’s really an insult to both the Italians and Pescadito. Because Marcelo makes Paris Hilton’s acting skills look professional. But hey, if he’s gonna do it for the team, then giving him a cheap t-shirt is the least we can do.
Instead I’d like to award the MMPMot4M to Eric Avila who, prior to this 4 game match streak, none of us had ever seen before outside those cute FCDTV videos. True, his game has a ways to go. True, his lack of size scares the crap out of me. True, we haven’t seen him play many minutes. True, it will be hard to get him on the field with Juan Toja, Andre Rocha, Pablo Richetti, Dax McCarty, and Marcello Saragosa all earning minutes. True, he looks thirteen. BUT, I like how he plays. He’s more aggressive than all those other midfielders save Toja. A key difference, from what little I’ve seen, is that JT has the very aggravating habit of coming to a dead halt when on the ball, while Avila seems to be more of a link player. I can’t recall watching Toja make a good cross for FC Dallas [UPDATE: I'm an idiot, and a forgetful one at that. I guess my point was that Toja just doesn't look to make a cross very often, he almost always looks to go inside. How many times have we seen JT take on a double team needlessly? He certainly can make a good cross. Lesson learned: don't say bad words about Toja or you're likely to get burned.] (though he made plenty against Celtic, to my chagrin). Yet Avila’s stopage time cross was, in his own words, “perfect”.
In many ways I agree with the Koolade that Buzz Carrick has been dispensing that the team should be built around a core of American talent and that foreigners should be brought in to supplement. I don’t think that means a certain percentage of the roster should be American, and I don’t even know how to describe (I doubt Buzz can either) exactly how you’ll know that when you achieve it. But I do believe that if we’re able to hold onto Dax McCarty (damn it was good to see him play again) and Avila continues to progress, I do see us having a great American core to our midfield. Go look around the league, successful teams have stable midfields. (Having said that, the Uni-brower is welcome to stay in Frisco as long as he wishes.) Anyway, congrats Eric. Hopefully we’ll be seeing you more often.
The outgoing transfer rumors deserve their own post.
WTF Commentary of the Week
Jim Rome cares just enough about soccer to not do any fact-checking (although here’s hoping the lead-in is totally factual):
Sure, John Harkes mistakes Gonzalo Martinez for Luciano Emilio. But Rome’s interns producers don’t bother reading the back of the dude’s jersey or bother to find out how he grew a quarter inch of hair over a period not longer than 90 minutes. Poor GoMart doesn’t even get any love for taking one in the groin. By the way, if I’m somehow the first person to use that nickname, it is hereby copyrighted and I demand royalties.Also, 2nd WTF Commentary: me during the Open Cup game. I made about four pronouncements during the game, here’s how I did:
“When was the last time you saw Abe Thompson win a header?” Fail. 20 seconds later he connected with a corner (though hitting it out of bounds for a corner). After both the Open Cup and KC matches, I’m upgrading this to Epic Fail.
“Just get it into halftime guys so we can re-group, you’re looking ugly out there.” Fail. Abe Thompson scores in first half stoppage time.
“All we need is about 15 minutes of Kenny Cooper against these guys.” Partial Fail. KC created chances but didn’t do as much as we’ve expected of him. But only a partial due to my making this statement while we were still down.
“We just need to get this game into overtime.” Again, Fail. My logic was sound and I still stand behind the probabilistics: we stood a better chance of scoring late in regulation than Miami, but we stood a much better chance of scoring in extra time against a 10-man mid-table tired USL club. However, Abe Thompson is the Han Solo to my C-3PO (”Don’t tell me the odds!”) and so I sit there looking like the Pro Poker player who lost to some chump on an inside straight draw.
Minutiae
and your Weekly Namesake Update
Has totally just been beat out by Edson Buddle. Talk about a tumble down the depth chart. I haven’t watched any Galaxy games since Pescadito got back from injury, so I’m not sure if Buddle is better at converting that Limey dude’s chances or (more likely) just possesses a nicer cap value. Pescadito might not even be with the Galaxy the next time MMP hits the stands. If he goes to the Crew as rumored, that means fewer appearances in PHP. *sniff*
Kenny Cooper had a little chat on ESPN.com today at 2pm. ESPN typically gets a player involved in its Thursday Night game to do these little chats. I’m not sure how much this does for their ratings, but anyhow… you need an ESPN Insider account to view the full chat. Guess who has just such an account? So here’s the full chat:
Buzzmaster: Kenny is here!
Kenny Cooper: Thanks for joining me! Happy to be here.
Lisa - Dallas, Texas: Everyone seems to get along very well as a team. Do any of you hang out off the field as well? If so, who would you say has the most out going personality? Congrats also on the goals!
Kenny Cooper: Yes we do have a very close team and everyone gets along very well. In high school I played with Drew Moor and we are good buddies. I am close with everyone on the team, but Drew and myself go way back. As far as outgoing personalies, we have a lot of funny guys and we have a great time in the locker room.
Dave (Beaverton, OR): Kenny- Why are you so awesome? Have you received any calls from Bob Bradley lately?
Kenny Cooper: Thank you first of all. Actually after the New England game I did get a call up come up with the national team in New York for the game against Argentina. Obviously I did not dress, but it was an honor. Playing for the USA is a goal of mine and it is always a great opportunity to be around those guys.
Barrett: Cedar Hill Texas: When you’re not playing soccer, what do you do with your free time?
Kenny Cooper: My family and girlfriend are here in Dallas, so when I am not training I like to spend time with them and coming from a soccer family I like to talk soccer and watch soccer with them. It is a huge part of our lives, so anything involving soccer we are interested in.
Jason (Austin TX): How about a prediction between your showdown with the Dynamo?
Kenny Cooper: Hopefully we will come away with a win. But Houston is obviously a very good, strong team. They are defending champs the last two years, so we know we are in for a battle anytime we play them. At the moment I believe the series is tied, and this is the last time we play them this season, so it would be nice to win one down there and win the series. It is always fun to play them and it has becopme a huge rivalry, and the fans get up for the series and it should be a very competitive game. I am looking forward ot it.
Steve (Frisco TX): Kenny, how has the recent coaching changes affected team morale? Many of us in Los Toros are counting on you guys having a big second half!
Kenny Cooper: I think anytime a new coach comes in guys get fired up, and everyone is working hard trying to make a good impression. It is an exciting time for us. I am excited for us. I was actually recuited by Sheallis but never had the chance to play for him, so for me, it is a great opportunity to repay him for the faith he showed in me in high school.
Sue (Adrian, MI): Hey Kenny - What do you think of the new coach. Is the team adapting well?
Kenny Cooper: Yes, I beleive we are adpating well. He has only been with us for a short time but everyone is wroking hard and is commited to coach Schellas. We have only had one game under him, but we go to Houston with him and we will try to get a good result for him.
Sean (Spokane): How was it being apart of Man U early in your career?
Kenny Cooper: It was an incredible experience and a great education. I was surrounded by some of the best players in the world and to be able to see the way they went about their business every day it was great. I would like to think there were a lot of lessons learned and that I was able to apply a lot of what I learned to my career here in MLS.
Jacob (Dallas, Texas): How do you feel about the remainder of the MLS Season?
Kenny Cooper: I am excited. I feel like we have done a lot of good things, and with Schellas here now I hope we can take out performance to the next level and finish strong.
Gary (Hong Kong): Have you been following the Euro 2008? What’s your take on Turkey’s comebacks and who do you think will take it all?
Kenny Cooper: I have been following the games, and it is great to come home after training and watch the games on ESPN. I actually saw Turkey’s comeback on replay in NY and it was a great comeback win. My two teams (the ones I though would win it), Holland and Portugal, are out now. I think I will go with Germany now to win it all.
Brian (Charlotte, NC): You seemed to adjust quickly when leaving Europe. What were the best and worst parts of your time there?
Kenny Cooper: The best part was just being a part of Man U. It is an incredible club. It was a great experience and education, as I said earlier. It was my first taste of pro soccer. To have that opportunity to be around Paul Scholes and Cristiano Ronaldo is invaluable. It was a great 2 1/2 years. It was all good.
Jeremy (Dallas, tx): what piece does FC Dallas need the most to put you over the hump this year? I’m sure no one is too pleased with the early playoff exits.
Kenny Cooper: I believe that we have all the pieces in place. I have a lot of confidence in my teammates and coaches. I think we have a team capable of winning MLS Cup, and that is the objective.
Nathan (Carrollton, GA): How can I grow to be 6′3″ tall?
Kenny Cooper: I got lucky with my mom’s genes, everyone on my mom’s side of the family is pretty tall.
Kenny Cooper: Thanks everyone for your support and be sure to watch us Thursday night on ESPN2, 9 p.m. ET, against the Dynamo.
Here’s hoping ESPN doesn’t sue my ass. For the record, I submitted a question that went unanswered:
Eddie Robinson: dirty defender, or dirtiest defender?
Buzzmaster: Kenny is here!
Loading ...
